Its been a while since I have sent out a mass email. I feel drawn to do so at this time since there is alot of misinformation that is attempting to divide us even more than the pandemic already has. The information I am referring to is the labeling of the "unvaccinated" as selfish. I have not been "vaccinated" and I do not plan on getting "vaccinated". The "unvaccinated" persons may not be "vaccinated" for different reasons and I can not speak for everyone therefore I will share my story. I put the word "vaccine" in quotes because it is not an inoculation, it is an injection of unknown ingredients.
I am a very sensitive person including physically and there was a time where chronic health issues for me were triggered by the over prescription of antibiotics. That is when I became anti western medicine and into treating myself naturally only. Since I have welcomed western medicine back in and have married western and natural in the treatment of myself. I like to do what will support my body in being in the least amount of stress.
In Dec 2019 - Feb 2020 I became very ill with something I had never had before. I am 99% positive that it was the "Rona" and even though I was sick with it, I did fortunately recover with the exception of my right ear. At the time it was not acknowledged that it was in the US and when I let the receptionist at the clinic know I may have been exposed through working in grocery, he rolled his eyes. I have actually been exposed to the Rona since and tested negative and did not get sick because I already have the antibodies from my previous infection.
I worked in grocery over a year during the pandemic when the "vaccine" became available to the grocery workers. The "vaccine" for us was nowhere in sight, I left for a long weekend and when I came back there was immense pressure to get "vaccinated" immediately. I put an immediate hault to the pressure I let in and said I need to meditate on it. During the time I was working, before I made the decision for myself, customers with "vaccine" regrets started trickling in. The first one being the worst shingles outbreak the female customer had ever had. That was a huge sign for me to not get the "vaccination" because I have chronic active epstein barr virus and do not want that to be triggered again.
While sick with chronic active epstein barr virus, I received little support or validation. Over 5 years I spent tens of thousands of dollars out of my own pocket while not able to work at the capacity I desired, especially with how expensive my treatments were. Not to mention the chronic pain and chronic fatigue I was in, the time it took me to heal including going to appointments, and the trauma of being that sick, tired, and in pain. Why would I want to risk all that time, work, money, healing to pacify others by getting an injection of unknown ingredients? Why would I want to risk all that time, work, money and healing to pacify others who would not offer me support if I did have a reaction or if my illness was triggered again?
This leads me to emphasize that Big Pharma has zero liability if you get sick from a vaccination. Even though Big Pharma makes billions of dollars a year off vaccinations, they have zero liability if someone gets sick from one of their vaccinations. This is thanks to the Ronald Reagan era of deregulation and our continued trajectory towards corporatocracy. Is it possible that we live in a faux democracy and actually in a corporatocracy? Is it possible that we are influenced to do what is best, not for ourselves but for big business? As so many Americans have struggled during the past year, isnt it interesting that Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos have gotten wealthier? If Big Pharma did accept liability or if employers who were pressuring their employees to get vaccinated were accepting liability we would be having a different dialogue right now.
Since the initial lady with the worst shingles outbreak ever, I have spoken with at least a dozen plus others who regret their vaccination decision. One night while working in grocery I had three separate female customer in a row who let me know they regretted getting the vaccine. Regardless of the suffering of others, I have received internal guidance through meditation and hypnosis that the "vaccination" is not for me.
Everyone should be doing what they feel safe and comfortable with, not pacify others who have no liability or offer no support. So instead of pressure each other, instead of shame each other, instead of call each other names, lets support each other in our individual decisions of what makes us feel safe and comfortable. Lets challenge ourselves to be more open minded and know that we all have different constitutions and circumstances. Lets challenge ourselves to be more compassionate. Lets challenge Big Pharma that if they are so confident in their injection, they should take on more liability. Lets challenge employers that if they pressure or make it mandatory for their employees to have the injection, they should take on the liability too. Lets offer our support and validation by reading these stories... https://www.c19vaxreactions.com/
I had a dream two nights ago. I was at my Grandmother Pinky's house. (Pinky crossed over a few years ago. Since, I sense her in my home or around me often, I have dreams about her and/ or her home sometimes, and I believe she just recently became one of my guides in training. It is not unusual for me to feel closer to people once they have crossed over, contributing to my unique perspective on death or as I like to say, our continuance.) I sat at the table and across from where she would sit. Others were with me but I am not sure who or where they were sitting. It was but wasn't her house because another "party" entered to sit at another table in the entry way at her side door. In that party was one of my ex boyfriends who pretended like he did not know me. I called him out on it. I can not remember if I used the word deny while calling him out or only as I was describing the dream to a friend. But denial becomes an important word when analyzing this dream. I was looking out the window while sitting at Granny Pinky's table. I saw an expansive galaxy or star system then I realized it was lights on a UFO and the UFO was the size of multiple football fields. I called for everyone to come to the window and see the sight I was seeing. They either didn't believe me because they do not believe in UFOs or were uninterested. It was unfortunate because the ETs were coming for a preliminary visit before they evacuate us off Mother Earth a couple of days later. As Mother Earth has become uninhabitable for humans to live and she needs us to leave so she can heal herself. The next morning I shared this dream with a fellow dream worker. She asked what i was in denial about. As I was talking to her, I went into a meditative state and received clarity that I was tapping in to the collective denial that we are in denial that we are killing the planet. And when I say killing the planet, I mean making it uninhabitable to humans and unfortunately making it uninhabitable for all of the insects, animals, and sea creatures too. I believe Mother Earth is very powerful and has the ability to cleanse and nourish and heal herself, she just needs us (at our present vibration) off of the planet to do so. And unfortunately the insects, animals, and sea creatures are suffering because of what we have done. I was talking to a friend last night who validated my dream. She had just watched a documentary by a division of Green Peace that states that the life in the ocean is only going to live for another 25 years. How much longer are we going to be able to live after the oceans are dead? And will we even want to live after the oceans are dead? Its just like the honey bees, if the honey bees die, we can only live for another 4 years after their deaths. Yet we continue to spray chemicals that kill them.
This takes me back to when I went to NYC on a High School art trip. I was born and raised Christian but I never felt close to God in a church, I always felt close to God when I was outside on a walk in nature. Even though I love Christ, Christianity never resonated with me. It never resonated with me to judge others when Christ didn't and the Bible says to not judge. It never resonated with me to judge others of different religions or for their sexual preferences. It also never resonated with me that we have this one guilt ridden life then we are awarded with heaven or condemned to hell. Really? one chance then we are condemned to hell for an eternity, I don't think so. Or worse, we can go through life hurting, damaging, having no desire or effort to learn, grow, love, be compassionate but we can go to church for one hour out of 168 a week and be awarded with heaven for eternity, I don't think so And yes, you can believe in Christ and not be Christian. For some reason people seem shocked when I tell them that is an option. It may come across that I am being discriminatory against Christians but that is not the case. I was born and raised Christian, went through oppression being born and raised Christian, and later was in a spiritually abusive romantic relationship and then a spiritually abusive work relationship that I am still processing. I am prejudiced against the power that is held over people in the name of God, the judgments, the wars, the abuse all in the name of God. When Christ loves so much and vibrates so high and would never want judgement, war, or abuse in his name. So I was in High School and I was in NYC and I was sitting in the planetarium and I was being introduced to the infinite universes that so resonate with me. I remember thinking, "Not only are we one small planet in our universe but we are one small planet in the infinite universes, there is no way that there is only life on Earth." In the infinite universes, in the multiverse, the Earth is like a speck of dust. Of course there is other life elsewhere. When I was in my early to mid 20's my cousin and friend, Ben died. That is when I first felt a seedling of safety to believe in past lives. Ben is a full blown Angel now. :)
This brings me back to UFOs and Aliens and ETs. How are we living on this speck of dust in the infinite universes and the multiverse and there isn't UFOs or Aliens or ETs? There is! Even the CIA and the Military and Ivy League Schools are starting to admit it! But it is still taboo? Speaking with my friend last night about my dream, the movie she watched, and the planet I felt drawn to share poems I had written a few year ago. But when I woke up this morning, the dream from two nights ago was still so prominent in my mind and I still felt so much urgency to more specifically share it. Just opening dialogue in regards to the state of planet Earth; and UFOs, Aliens, and ETs.
None of the protest and none of the looting that may or may not come from the protest is worth anyone getting hurt or dying today. If people need to make a point, a very important point by breaking windows, so let it be. For people who are racist, it is ingrained in them in childhood. No one is born and thinks as a baby "I want to grow up and be racist" and violent. Racism is violent. Everyone, everyone wants to be healthy, happy, and at peace. We develop, grow, and learn more from the womb to 7 years than any other time in our life. When people are racist, it doesn't mean they are good, bad, right, wrong. It means their childhood trauma has not been addressed and healed from. Childhood trauma is the #1 public health crisis in the Nation that no one seems to want to address. To address racism we also need to address it long term. For people who are racist they need to be addressed gently with empathy, as we all do, for long term change. This will allow them to feel safe so they don't have to be defensive and so they can heal, grow, shift, and change. One of the gifts of COVID 19 is that we are forced to be more present. We can use this presence not only to make it through COVID but also to collectively make it through this racism. When we are not being present we are putting others around us in a box. Do you want your lack of presence keeping someone around you from changing for their or the collectives highest good? If you want a racist to change you need to hold space and give them the opportunity to change. I am not saying I am right but I am not saying that I am wrong either. I am saying let's start a conversation where we can be present and empathetic and love. We are all connected! We are all one! LOVE!
Hi! :) Are you a "YES" Person? I used to be!
Maybe being a "YES" Person is part of being a female raised in the rural south. Or maybe it was just part of my families dynamics. But I did not know how to say no. There was so much risk and fear wrapped up in saying no. Disappointment, Rejection, Retaliation, Isolation, Loneliness, just to name a few.
Then I went through a very traumatic experience that is now one of the greatest gifts that I ever received.
I was in college and dating a man that got stationed in South Korea one week after 9/11. We spoke every other day and emailed when he had internet access at an internet cafe. I sent him love letters everyday and care packages often. About 5 months in, he cheated on me. One of his friends girlfriends accidentally came across an email where he was "bragging" about it and she let me know and forwarded me the email. I was devastated. I was devastated to the point that almost all of my plants died.
Unfortunately but fortunately I was speaking with one of my classmates about it. I think she was also the "President" or some other office of this Nutrition club we were in. (Eye roll) As I was balling my eyes out to her, she asked me to head up a fundraiser. Well I can not stand fundraising period! Especially not when I am going through a break up. Between my gasp of air while crying I said "yes". Simply because I did not know how to say no. Well, that is the last time I ever said yes unless it is something that I 100%, without a doubt, want to say yes to!
The overwhelm of school, the breakup, and now the god awful fundraiser led me to a mental breakdown.
Every since, if I am not 100% without a doubt sure, even if I am 99% sure, I say "let me think about it", "Give me a couple days to think about it.", "I will let you know in a couple days." or if I know I don't want to say yes, I say "No." If someone has a problem with that response or is impatient, that is their problem. That is their personal growth to bare. The weight of saying No and risking the disappointment, rejection, retaliation, isolation, loneliness is nothing compared to the weight of being overwhelmed, having health issues or a mental breakdown, and letting yourself down.
Since, I have helped other people to say no by telling them this story. It also helps to know that the person who you are telling no to is probably more receptive to it than you let yourself realize. Perhaps even appreciative and respectful of your boundaries. It is helpful for everyone's growth. Here is an example... you ask your roommate to help you plant a garden and they don't want to. Would you rather them say "No, I don't want to." so you can get on with it yourself or find someone else to help you? Or would you rather them say "Yes" when they have no intention, string you along, you feel left hanging, and then it is too late to plant a garden?
Since I have received this gift of saying no I have also learned discernment, more and better boundaries and self love. Energy work, Meditation, Hypnosis, Deep Breathing have all helped me be in touch with all of the different parts of myself and love myself. One of the best ways I love myself is discerning who I let into my life and having boundaries. There are so many ways for us to love ourselves but for me, in this incarnation, this is one of the best ways for me.
If you are a "YES" person, I hope this helped you. If you are not a "YES" person, I hope you found this story entertaining.
Even though I have received messages not to give in to the news, numbers, conspiracy theories I still have residual, neurotic needs to know. When I was sick 3 times between the beginning of December to the beginning of February, did I have the coronavirus? The answer came to me that it doesn't matter, I don't need to know. Perhaps I need to be more present?
If I do come down with the coronavirus in the future? Why? There has to be a deeper meaning. The answer is personal and spiritual growth and to work on my ego. After all, we are on this planet, this earthly plane, in these weird human space suits for spiritual growth. But most of us forget that.
The gift of the coronavirus is presence. More than ever we don't know what tomorrow will bring much less a month from now, or a few months from now, or a year from now, or a few years from now. So we have no other choice than to be present which is how we should be anyway.
My ears have been bothering me for months. Why? Well, they are not bothering me in this moment, so it doesn't matter. Maybe if my physical body does bother me, I just need to bring presence into which ever body part is bothering me at that moment.
There are a few classes I want to take, well I can't take them today so it doesn't matter. How freeing to not be making plans for the fall or 2021. So many institutions that have bound us, put us in a violent, suppressive, oppressive, repressive, depressive boxes are going to fall. How freeing. How freeing to simply be present. How freeing to simply be.
When we are not being present we are also putting others around us in a box. We all have the ability to change. Do you want someone elses lack of presence keeping you in a box? Do you want your lack of presence keeping someone around you from changing for the highest good?
We don't know where the coronavirus came from. Did it come from a bat or is it man made? Regardless of where it came from is it political? Is it being used to manipulate us? It doesn't matter. Trump, Republicans, Democrats, The CIA, The New World Order, and The Wizard of Oz are only so powerful. Who is powerful is The Universe, God(s), Angels, Mother Earth, Love. They are whats true and authentic and powerful and what will take care of us so we can be present and love.
The economy may suffer but look at this shift with an open mind. How can I be more resourceful? More creative? More Compassionate? It is ok to make money during this time and not feel survivors guilt because you can be kind, caring, loving, discerning, compassionate, and generous. Perhaps the greatest gratitude for our gifts is generosity. Looting may take place but is it possible that we can stop it before it starts? By checking on those we love to make sure they have enough food to eat. Or if we don't have enough food to eat, dissolving shame and reaching out and saying "Hey, I don't have enough food to eat, can you help me or do you know someone who can?" If there is anyone who is reading this that can not afford to eat right now. Please let someone know. Maybe they can help you, if not, maybe they know someone who can. We are all one.
Recently I watched Dave Chappelle receive the Mark Twain award. It was a very inspiring program with a couple of inspiring quotes. Dave Chappelle spoke of how sensitive he is and his mom told him something like "Be a Lion so you can be the Lamb that you are."
Also Lorne Michael mentioned the quote " This is precisely the time when artist go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal." by Toni Morrison. The awards program was in the fall but that quote seems even more appropriate today. Some sources say the opposite of fear is love.
I loved that Toni Morrison quote so much that I looked up more of her quotes and came across this one as well, "We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That maybe the measure of our lives."
In my readings this week I also came across another quote from Rumi. "Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."
Inspirational quotes have gotten me through some of the hardest moments in my life. I remember there was this one moment that was especially hard and pivotal. I moved by myself from the east coast to Los Angeles and didn't know anyone, had very little savings, and no job to go to. I had a collection of magnets with inspirational quotes on them. I read them over and over and over again, just to get through. Here are some of the quotes. In no particular order.
"Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to walk boldly through them" Orison Sweet Marden
"Risk more than others this is safe, care more than others think is wise, dream more than others this is practical, expect more than others think is possible." Cadet Maxim
"If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill
"Be yourself. Everbody else is already taken." Oscar Wilde
Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." unknown
"Everything thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." Benjamin Franklin
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Niebuhr
"Never never never give up." Winston Churchill
I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know if you would like to read more of my writing.
Between living in DC and LA I temporarily moved back to North Carolina and got introduced to Theta Healing and even read the book and took the intro class. The person who introduced me to Theta Healing also showed me this booklet for a Theta Healing class she took on manifesting your most compatible soul mate. I feel like using those tools helped me manifest my husband a year and a half to two years later. I also lived (according to astrocatrography) in a location good for love/ romance when I met KC. I have really good astrology in LA.
When manifesting your most compatible soul mate be aware that
You have a lot of soul mates so we are being specific and manifesting our most compatible one.
Its not about "good" or "bad" or "right" or "wrong" etc... Its about compatibility.
Also, we often forget to manifest the most important attributes..
Loving, Caring, Kind.
Also, 50% of men have the genes, genetics, dna to be monogamous and 50% of them don't. Again monogamy and not being monogamous is not "good" or "bad" or "right" or "wrong" its about compatibility.
So when manifesting your most compatible soul mate don't get much more specific than
Manifesting your most compatible soul mate who happens to be loving, caring, kind and then specify monogamous or not.
Being more specific than this is possibly closing you off to who your most compatible soul mate is.
Write Most Compatible Soul Mate, Loving, Caring, Kind, and then specify monogamy or not on white paper with a purple pen. Leave it under the moon light. I put reiki energy on to the paper while praying before putting it under the moonlight and after removing it. If you do not know reiki simply generate healing energy in the form of unconditional love onto the paper. You are all intuitive beings and use intuition as to when to do this, how often, for how long. Then even use intention when throwing the paper away. Do all of this with the intention of highest good for everyone involved. I also include Mother Earth.
Once KC and I did meet and decide to be together it was bumpy and there was a power struggle. Power struggle is inevitable. Its just if you both choose to make it through the power struggle or not. I thought once our power struggle was over and we got married that we wouldn't have to go through another one, I was wrong. Power struggle is inevitable as part of marriage even if you have already been through it dating. Fortunately we went through our power struggle the first few months of marriage and hopefully with fingers crossed, got it out of the way. We are coming up on our 5 year anniv this week.
Living up here in Northern California I have found a Core Individuation practitioner I have gone to for six years now. He also facilitates Theta Healing and I still get Theta Healing sessions occasionally. If you are interested in any Core Individuation sessions or inquiring about Theta Healing here is his link. He does facilitate distance
Also if you are interested in having your astrological chart done here is my astrologers info. He helped me decide to move to LA and helped emotionally support me during my move. I get my chart done with him every couple to few years.
There is magic in being alone
When you open the door and there is no one there
Your lungs can fill with the expansion of the freedom in your home
you can do as you will to decompress from your day
and allow your body to sink in where ever you may
There is magic in being alone
you can do as you will or do as you need
without any other energy to get in your way
you can turn on music and sing and dance
or watch an old movie that you have already seen 100 times
and no one is there to judge you
There is magic in being alone
you can clean and clean as you will
or not clean and slob as you will
and no one is there to judge you
you can wake up at noon, read those books you have been wanting to for months or years, eat or not eat, and create, create, create
food, writing, singing, dancing, painting, drawing, mosaics, collages, just to name a few.
The possibilities are endless when there is no other energy in your way.
There is magic in being alone
You can connect to God on your own, no one needs to do it for you
you can pray or meditate, light candles, and master your own ceremonies.
We are all equal and we are all one
There is magic in being alone
You can hold space for yourself in your hardest times
Yes you can, you can do it
and grow and heal
and heal and grow
When we are all able to be together again
we will be more whole because you will be more whole
There is magic in being alone
There is so much magic in being alone
maybe someday bored will never ever enter your vocabulary ever again
There is magic in being alone
There once was this man. He was 6'8" and 313lbs of solid muscle, with beautiful golden brown skin, long black hair, tattoos of reverence, and handsome to say the least. He was the best hunter in his tribe, everyone depended on him to eat.
He could revere this gift with gratitude and pass along the food he provided with honor and the energy of love. Everyone in his tribe could live in peace, harmony, happiness with plenty of love to go around. But he chose to not appreciate his gift. He chose to see his gift as a means to treat everyone as subordinate and pawns and to not see their gifts that were helping his game, his machine work. His wife and son were of a vulnerable stature and were terrified of him. He had turned them into shells of people dissociating from their true spirits and creativity and gifts. They, their shells still depended on the nutrients of the food he provided. The elders who were once wise now have to dissociate from their wisdom for their emaciating shells to survive. The other men, happen to be not as big as him, so he throws his weight around and beats them. They don't even have to be in his way.
The hunter feels that if his needs are met, everyone's needs are met. The hunter feels that if he is happy, everyone is happy. Until one day, he falls ill and can no longer hunt. The other men in the tribe are able to be creative and utilize their gifts to provide food with gratitude and love. His wife and child are able to release fear, regain their posture, and find their true spirits and creativity. The elders are able to retrieve their wisdom, authenticity and confidence. They only make so much effort to nurse the hunter back to health.
There came the day for the tribe to pack up and move due to weather, hunting, and their usual migratory patterns. The hunter became a weight, baggage none of them no longer wanted to bare. With their new found peace, love, harmony, and happiness they were able to discern that he and the food he provided was not healthy for the tribe. They set intention and prayed over him and left him uncovered in the elements. The hunter is now the hunted.
As I am writing this to share, I am writing it to myself as well.
Its easy to check into and watch the news, watch the numbers, and and come up with theories and declare ourselves experts with what is going on.
The coronavirus is new and because it is new the experts aren't even experts, the government and our employers have never been in a situation like this and are panicked.
No matter where the virus came from we have to rise up and take responsibility for it ourselves by staying inside or respecting social distancing, being creative and helping lift others up or by making masks. What a great time for practicing boundaries and respecting others boundaries. Surrender to what we are going through, be present, be calm, don't compare (Including numbers) and don't have expectations (again we haven't been through this situation before). When we want to compare, have expectations, and judge, that is ego.
We, as humans, are already ignorant. It is just part of being human. And when we check into the news, the numbers, the fear, the conspiracy theories made by other ignorant human beings we are dumbing ourselves down even more. If you can picture yourself spiraling down into darkness where you can see nothing, much less see anything clearly. If you surrender, be present, be calm, don't compare, don't have expectations, take care of yourself (LOVE), allow yourself to enjoy your family (LOVE), be creative and share your gifts (LOVE), laugh (LOVE), and have fun (LOVE) you will lift yourself and those around you up to the tops of the trees for an expansive perspective. You may not like what you see but you will see clearly and practice observation.
For those of us with differing political views and we can't seem to agree to disagree, LOVE from a distance until we free ourselves from our egos, free ourselves from our judgments and find tolerance(LOVE).
When we come out of this, the economy may be bad but it may be bad for most everyone. It can be a time of being creative, resourceful, and of dissolving the shame around money and lack. Can you imagine how wonderful a world without shame could be? To redefine the American Dream into The New American Dream.